Chris and Pat Christopher
Warren (who goes by Chris) and Pat Christopher are both retired and live in Pike Creek Valley, Delaware. They spend their retirement traveling, blogging, helping friends through tough times, and volunteering for Meals on Wheels and Literacy Volunteers Serving Adults. In addition Chris also gives an occasional homily and Pat is an avid environmental activist. Below is the letter that Chris wrote to his three children, explaining how he met their mother. He called the first day they met, the Day of Destiny.
Friday, February 1, 2008
DECEMBER 5, 1968 - DAY OF DESTINY
Dear Kelly, Kim and Mike -
Thirty nine years ago - December 5, 1968 - your mother and I met for the very first time! She was 29; I was 38. Seems like quite an age-spread, we know. But with your mother’s charm and serene, ‘other-worldly’ grace (and I might add, her physical beauty!) and my own immature, boy-priest mentality, we were actually close in age.
Since we both were only a few months removed from our past, previously cloistered lives (yes, with Vatican permission), we had few social contacts and even fewer social graces. Tom and Grace decided it would be ‘cute’ to invite us to dinner in their Bayside, Queens apartment. I arrived first. I must confess: as an ex-monk bachelor, I anticipated forking down a free home-cooked meal more than meeting Tom’s sister, Pat Stephens (there were lots of ex-nuns floating around back in the 60’s).
Anyway, Tom walked in the door with this gorgeous young woman! “Who is this ‘dream-thing’ in her gold dress and Jane Fonda boots? Guess Tom’s sister couldn’t make it tonight�?, I mused to myself. I’ll never forget Tom’s immortal words at that moment: “Chris, this is my sister, Pat!�? Well, I went into a mild state of shock - Tom's very own sister, the most beautiful ex-nun I had ever seen! Wow! Then we all sat down to one of Grace’s great dinners and conversed politely the rest of the evening. I can’t remember what we ate or what we said.
I recall only my intense awareness of this ‘heavenly presence’ sitting next to me!
“And thus it came to pass"...mom and I were engaged on Valentine’s Day ‘69. Married on a steamy hot August 13th and honeymooned at the Pink Sands in Bermuda. Within 5 short years we were a sprawling, bawling family of five tucked away in the idyllic little village of "Seaford-by-the-Sea", Long Island.
Why did all this happen to your mother and me? Luck? Chance? Happenstance? Blind destiny? Or, was it the Providence of a loving God, guiding us to this crossroad in our lives? You know what your mother and I believe.
Once again, we’ll be celebrating December 5th at our favorite Delaware restaurant, the“Dome�?, out in Hockessin. Another dinner celebration of our life together. The gold dress and Jane Fonda boots are long since gone. But the memory of that first evening dinner together, chez Tom and Grace, is still so strong within us. We have so much to be thankful for…..most especially, for the three of you!
Only one year earlier neither of us knew one another...had no idea our lives would ever cross .....never really wondered....what it would be like to be married... hmmm, marriage(?)
Well, I suppose in all honesty we did wonder a bit.
Eighteen months after I applied to Rome for laicization and permission to contract a sacramental marriage, the official Vatican rescript from Paul VI arrived in late September, 1970. The fine print contained the usual caveats in effect at that time: 1) no scandal to the laity should be given; 2) the ceremony should be entirely private, no public church wedding; and 3) this was more a recommendation rather than a prerequisite: try to move at least 500 miles from the vicinity of my previous ministry (I kid you not!). Well, de facto, by then we were already legally married for thirteen months and Pat was beginning her ninth month of pregnancy with Kelly Girl! Furthermore, we didn't have enough "bread' to move to Jersey. Let alone Oshkosh "somewhere". So, forget option #3!
With some trepidation we drove over to the Diocese of Brooklyn Chancery Office on Greene St where we hesitated for a few moments....before entering it's massive, Gothic portals. I asked Pat, "Are you sure you want to go through with this!" What we didn't know: would we get an official reprimand for "jumping the gun" thirteen months previously. That was a Civil Court ceremony! And were there any hitherto undisclosed ecclesiastical penalties incurred August 13, '69 The door swung open. And in we went!
Once inside, three monsignori, not just one, ushered Pat and me down dark hallways into a small ornate chapel deep within the Chancery. Two of the monsignori I failed to recognize, but the lead monsignor was Tony Bevelaqua, an up-and-coming young ecclesiastic who would become years later the Cardinal Archbishop of Philadelphia. Much to the relief of shy Pat, there were no recriminations, no "why did you do it?" from these three friendly Brooklyn clerics. Immediately, we launched into the marriage ceremony, defintely a shortened ritual lasting about three minutes. Although our monsignor friends were affable guys, both Pat and I detected a certain nervousness in their faces. Yessss, Pat was in her ninth month, and biblically speaking she was quite "large with child"! I began to understand what was on their minds! They were imagining tomorrow's story on page three of the Daily News!:
"Ex-nun gives birth to baby girl in Brooklyn Bishop's Chancery Office Chapel! Three monsignors and an ex-monk assist birth as mid-wives ex tempore!"
We were out on the sidewalk in no time, waving goodbye to our new monsignor friends.
Pat and I were too broke to celebrate the occasion in a fancy restaurant. So we packed a pregnancy-friendly picnic supper and headed out to Bethpage State Park. It was a lovely late September afternoon. So long, long ago.
